But my husband thinks through and calculates the weight and accuracy of pretty much everything he says before it comes out of your mouth. Which means...he is right, I am wrong, pretty much alllll the time. And for our first year of marriage, OH how that bothered me! Didn't he know that the WIFE is always right? Didn't he get the memo that happy wife = happy life? I felt like our marriage was the opposite of marriage stereotypes, and it drove me crazy...at first...
But after a while I started to realize something super important. This man, this super frustrating guy who researched, and studied, and thought through and won almost every argument we had, applied the same characteristics to every other part of his life too. When the time came to look for a house, he put careful thought and attention into every part of the process, and we ended up making a wiser decision than I would have on my own Yes, it took longer than I thought it should. But his decision was GOOD.
When controversial topics come up, he doesn't just follow the masses, he studies and questions, and dares to do things differently. And most of the time, his decisions and opinions are GOOD. But they are things that I have fought against, often just for the sake of being right.
And as I spent time watching this man who I promised to spend the rest of my life with, I began to stop fighting him, and start being thankful for the wisdom that he had. Because, really, winning an argument doesn't help me out too much. But having a wise, careful husband that I can depend on and respect sure does. (And by the way, after four years, I can pull out the facts and research like a pro during 'discussions' :)
What is it about your husband that you are fighting against? So often those qualities that drive us up the wall are actually positives when looked at in another light. Maybe you are married to a type A personality like my husband, and are frustrated that your date invitations arrive as google calendar invites, and that your husband views organizing the basement as bonding time. I felt like that at first, but then I realized that those google invites mean that he is prioritizing our relationship, and that my husband actually helps clean the house!
Perspective is so important in relationships. It is so easy to see the negative in our spouse. Remember that he cannot be all things. I think a lot of the time, we see all the good things in other husbands, and expect our man to have every good trait, and no bad ones. He absolutely CANNOT be all your friends' husbands' good qualities combined, and it's not fair to expect him to be. I can almost guarantee you that he won't be insanely organized, but also spontaneously romantic, a dynamic leader, diplomatic, good at making babies stop crying, taking care of the bills, super buff, help clean the house, and know where everything is in the diaper bag too. But I will bet that there is something pretty amazing about that man that you married.
What is it that your husband is doing WELL?
